They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
