eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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