Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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