i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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