I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
BRING THE BAGELS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
