Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
