im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
