Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
