I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You don't make any sense
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