you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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