My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
