I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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