I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
