Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
