I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize