Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
