I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
