she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
