how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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