I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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