i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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