I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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