wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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