Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The beer is more important than you right now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
