The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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