I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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