I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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