Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
