How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
this is an emotional support booty call
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
