Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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