True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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