the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
