Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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