so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
