Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
