I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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