Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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