I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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