Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
