I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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