I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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