the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
