so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
