Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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