why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
