how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
