Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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