My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
