if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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