Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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