everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
