Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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