I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
