Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
