I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
