If i come over, it means nothing
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
