I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it was like eating out sand paper
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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