I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
someone owes me an orgasm
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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