I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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