if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i may or may not be watching the land before time
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
