RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
