im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
