Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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