areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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